Transformers: Dark of the Moon -- REVIEW

First off I should preface this by confessing that I am a big transformers fan: 1) I blame my brother for introducing me to the cartoon series at a young age and 2) I blame Michael Bay for making it look so badass to be a transforming robot.  I mean, let’s be honest here, Bay has created three films for a franchise that can now continue to grow by showing younger generations that “old” cartoons make for some pretty cool stories (and toys).


Granted, I should give myself a disclaimer, adding that Bay is not a great story teller, by any stretch of the imagination, and his films aren’t meant to be Oscar winning or anything close to that, but it is obvious that he knows how to entertain an audience.  But let’s digress, as I need to just throw this out there to who hate Michael Bay, perhaps you need to look beyond the story, sure there the story is faulty, but you do have to admit the skill Bay shows creating explosions and CGI transforming robots is the coolest thing and for the audience he is creating for, it is beyond cool.

So to all you Bay haters – Get over it! Stop beating yourself up trying to make Bay anything more than he is: a genius for bigger, badder things that go boom, with an eye for detail with CGI that make fans nerd-gasm in their pants.  Mhmm I said it, and all you out there reading this know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to the nuts and bolts of why we are here.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a visually stunning summer blockbuster.  Although, it clearly suffers a bit of a rocky start, leading with some awkward transitions in storytelling and poorly casted extras wearing highly recognizable full face prosthetics that make the actors look like the Barbie factory had a mishap in their Ken department, but by the film’s mid-point, you have all but forgotten the pathetic, torture of the opening scenes, and have moved on to enjoying Bay’s in-your-face entertainment.  But before too long you are reminded of the storyline when wait a minute… is that Buzz Aldrin making a cameo appearance (a la Stan Lee style)?  Hehe oh yes, it is. Michael Bay all but bitch-slaps the audience with the insanity of humans casted in various roles throughout Dark of the Moon.

So we have covered the astronaut appearance, and we know that Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwichy, Josh Duhamel as Lennox, the whacky John Turturro as “Former” Agent Simmons, Tyrese Gibson as Epps, and thankfully Megan Fox has been kicked to the curb and replaced by British Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who is just a hot bod in heels.  Yet, it is the new faces that make cast dynamics so interesting; John Malkovich plays Sam’s insane boss Bruce Brazos and Frances McDormand plays the US Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing, each of their appearances almost brings about a Burn After Reading hilarity to an already outrageous film.  Without giving away too much I just want to add this, it is nice to see McDreamy get his ass handed to him by a kid.  But let’s not forget, the Transformers series is not about the humans… it is about the robots!

It was great to see the traditional characters back in action.  Bumblebee is adorable as ever (I’ve missed the teary eyed Autobot since Revenge of the Fallen), Ironhide is still a badass, and of course Optimus Prime who has a few upgrades of his own like a trailer full of new toys that he can combine to create even bigger explosions and Decepticon destruction. But it is the quirky Autobots like Wheelie and the addition of Brains and an Albert Einstein look alike Bot named Wheeljack that make it clear that Dark of the Moon is all about having fun.  Even the fact that the addition of Leonard Nimoy, who voices Galvatron, brings a smile to ones face and may even bring out some of the Trekkies.

My only real complaint with the Dark of the Moon is that after seeing it in IMAX 3D, I wish that Bay had stepped back and provided a few more slow-motion transformation sequences like those in Revenge of the Fallen was so full of.  There is so much taking place in Dark of the Moon, and with characters like Driller (Shockwave’s pet), the screen was so busy I had a hard to focus on all the action.  I, personally would have loved to have seen more CGI that the Transformers franchise has become so well known for, and yet maybe even another “big robot balls” joke or two.  But all in all the film is highly entertaining, well worth the money and 155 minutes spent in the theater.

Dearest Michael Bay I ask, will you ever again give us a film shy of the 120 minute marker? Although I will happily confess that I am an avid admirer of your “make it bigger” philosophy with regards to explosions, fight sequences and CGI effects, I feel you will leave me no choice but to do the potty dance as I race from the theater after your films.  Word to the wise: if you plan to see Transformers be sure to use the restroom before entering the theater and opt out of the Michael Bay size sodas that the concession stands are now selling.  This is just a warning for adults, come in pairs, one to watch the kids in the theater and one to make the multiply potty runs.

Cowboys & Aliens -- REVIEW

Picture this… James Bonds wakes up in the Wild West unable to recall how he got there and then ends up in a town were Indiana Jones and his son have been terrorizing its citizens into doing anything they want…  Wait, that’s not right.  Granted Cowboys & Aliens does star Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford, as well as share executive producer Steven Spielberg (Indy franchise), there is little else these heavy hitters bring to this futuristic/sci-fi western.  If only the film lived up to the overall awesomeness that the trailers teased.

Let’s look at the possibilities from a realistic point of view.  1) Daniel Craig is a total bad ass and could totally whip any aliens ass.  2) Indiana Jones was amazing when we were able to understand him (if you see Cowboys & Aliens you will understand the issue). 3) Cowboys verses Aliens is an amazing concept that has not really been done before. 4) Spielberg rarely has a bad film (this does not include the 4^th Indy, which I’ll never speak of again).  5) The aliens’ aircrafts looked amazing and gave hope to some crazy looking villains.  Now that that’s out of the way let’s get back to the review….

Cowboys & Aliens takes the concept of a western to heart as it moves as a leisurely pace that could only be compared to a John Wayne film that takes almost 3 hours to get through.  Although there is more than enough time to deliver a story, there are so many missing pieces that you’re lucky if you can walk out of the theater with the slightest clue as to what just happened.  Not only is the story missing a few crucial parts and lacking major character development, but by the end you’ll just wish that Doc Brown would suddenly fly in and urge Marty to travel back to the future just as the end credits roll.  As cheesy as that sounds, it is probably the only thing that could have possibly redeemed the film from its current state.

Thankfully director Jon Favreau found a balance between story and action that kept the audience in their seats, it’s just too bad the combination was not better delivered.  With top-notch actors, a hot actress with a tight toosh (who oddly enough we find out is not quite what we thought she was), and half-assed aliens who pack no punch (who strangely resembled the alien in Spielberg’s Super 8) it’s hard to believe more time had not been spent on fully developing this project.  Having come from a graphic novel it should have been a piece of cake since the story was practically already fully laid out and storyboarded for them, but sadly the adaptation strays far enough away from the original concept that if you miss a few crucial lines explaining who/what the aliens are you might as well forget the story completely.

The only thing that makes up for the complete confusion of the story and whether or not this film was official left with an open ending to set up for a sequel, is the recent realization that a 90s TeenNICK show actually predicted the coming of Cowboys & Aliens.   If you ever watched 'Clarissa Explains It All' you would have had your first introduction to something almost 20 years in the making.  Now I think the only question left is… Would Cowboys & Aliens have made a better 90s film than the film we have today? 

That being said Cowboys & Aliens is a decent film that will at least kill 2 hours if you have nothing better to do.

**this review was originally written for PacManandTheHotOne.com.  check out the site for more reviews and follow the link to the original posting (http://pacmanandthehotone.blogspot.com/2011/...owboys-aliens-2011.html)

HORRIBLE BOSSES -- Review

We have all, or know someone who has had a horrible boss at one point or another. That one person who makes us want to down a bottle of tequila (or whatever alcohol you prefer) by the end of the night, or just simply makes getting up and going into work the one thing that we don't wish we never had to do. But what would happen if we were some how able to get our revenge. Would you act alone or would you enlist the help of a friend to carry out whatever vicious method of revenge you choose? And how are would you go to get rid of that one person that makes your day the most unbearable event in your life? Horrible Bosses plays with this idea and delivers a level of insanity that will have the entire audience laughing from start to finish.

Horrible Bosses is a film that will make even your worst day look like a walk in the park. The amazing talents of Jason Bateman (Arrested Development and Juno), Jason Sudeikis (SNL and Hall Pass) and Charlie Day (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) only adds to the overly outrageous events that will play out before your eyes. Their comedic timing is the perfect combination of wit, sarcasm and hilarity that is only aided with the additions of Kevin Spacey who plays Kevin's (Bateman) boss, Colin Farrell who plays Kurt's (Sudeikis) boss and Jennifer Aniston who plays Dale's (Day) boss.

Personally I found Horrible Bosses to be a non-stop laugh that was an even rival to the original Hangover, and even a close competitor to the amazingness that is Bridesmaids. For the simple fact that studios are now venturing into open waters with well written comedies that can easily rival any summer blockbuster action flick is a nice change of pace in comparison to what we are used to seeing in past years. I can only hope that they let the goods things go and not try to make unnecessary sequels just to make a few extra bucks (*cough* Hangover II *cough*). Horrible Bosses is one of those films that people of all ages and backgrounds will be able to go and enjoy because everyone can release as we have all had a horrible boss at one point or another in our lives.

Biggest Highlights:
1: Don't expect anything because you don't know what's going to happen AND IT'S AWESOME!
2: Although we might be sick of Aniston these days... seeing her in this role is one that you'll be able to enjoy over and over again.
3: Never underestimate a horrible boss.

So live vicariously through Dale, Kurt and Kevin as they act out all of our dreams of revenge towards the people who have (and possible still are) made your live a hell during the hours of 9a-5p.

I give Horrible Bosses a 4.5 out of 5.

THE HANGOVER: PART II -- Review

There is something tragically sad when Hollywood feels the need to take a good thing and destroy it. Granted the failure of Part II was not an epic fail, but it was close enough to have been a complete disappointment.

The Hangover Part II is one of those films that you go into hoping for something to be delightfully surprised by, and granted there were a few jokes that were quite shocking, but the overall effect of the film did not survive the curse of unnecessary sequels. The first film was such a shock to the system that there was little wrong that could be done and no matter what your tastes are for humor The Hangover appealed to you. The wildly over the top and insanity that the wolfpack brought was a unique thing that charmed us all. Part II unfortunately took advantage of the original fans and gave us little to walk away with.

I honestly question if the final film failed because of the lack of secrecy surrounding the film as they suffered several "leaks" during the production process with regards to story and casting of cameo appearances. I have read interviews stating that director Todd Phillips respected the wishes of cast and crew to not push to keep Mel Gibson for the "surprise" cameo as the tattoo artist, and on some scale I almost respect the director for that, but in a way (regardless of my lack of respect for Gibson today) I actually wish he had been used. It would have been an "in-your-face" that the film just lacked. I missed the insane LVPD who used the wolfpack as stun gun test dummies and I feel that, although still not as great, the Gibson cameo would have been on a level appropriate for The Hangover.

Overall I was not impressed by the Part II. Too much time was spent on the "family dynamics" which were practically useless for the film. Not enough time was spent developing cameos that could have actually added to the franchise. Paul Giamatti could have been such a badass and he just wasn't utilized to the best potential for the characters and film. Liam Neeson was so unrecognizable as the tattoo artist that the cameo was COMPLETELY LOST and the joke fizzled and fell so short that the film no longer felt like it had anything to do with The Hangover. There was one additional cameo at the end of the film that was so painful to watch and listen to that I wish it had almost been left out. Actually aside from Chow and the final cameo there was little that brough the 2nd film back to the original.

I am very sad to report that I give The Hangover Part II a 1.5 out of 5. I had such hopes that the franchise would at least survive a second film, but that did not seem to be the case. I know it has been thrown around for the idea of a third installment if Part II does well, and I honestly doubt the film will do well enough. Even though my love for Galifianakis runs strong, he couldn't even save the film in his over the top insanity. My only recommendation is to pass on The Hangover this week and maybe pick it up in the $5 bin at Target/Wal-Mart.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES -- Review

When it comes to pirates there are very few things that can go wrong. Well, a lot can go wrong, but Disney has found an amazing ensemble cast that brings to life their amusement park ride to such perfection that even after four installments we have yet to get bored with the series. Truth is I sort of missed Gore Verbinski as the director, but Rob Marshall did a decent job having primarily come off of directing musical. But it wasn't just the director who left the franchise, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan, have (THANKFULLY) moved on as well, and I was glad that there was no reference or cameo to them and we were left with only our most favorite of the characters. In 2007 I remember wondering if another Pirates film would get made, and here it is, almost 4 years later and at the risk of taking the franchise beyond the 3rd film, On Stranger Tides does not miss a beat.

With the return of Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Gibbs (Kevin McNally) and Barbossa (Geoffry Rush), it is only a matter of minutes before you are shown the pace at which the 4th installment will be taking you on this high seas adventure. Johnny Depp reprises his character will a consistency that is amazing because it has been almost 4 years since we last saw the quirky pirate on screen, and it is as though he never left. With a slightly updated wardrobe, a few new scars and a treasure chest full of one-lines and jokes that remind you why you love this character so much. With the butting conflict between Jack and Barbossa, the rivalry between pirates is as entertaining as ever. In addition to the original characters, Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane join the cast as Sparrow's love interest Angelica and her father, the infamous pirate Blackbeard. These two characters breathe new life into the series and rises the bar to the talent and character chemistry. Although they seem to have been overlooked by press during the junkets as all eyes were turned to the new comer Astrid Berges-Frisbey who plays the mermaid Syrena, but without giving too much away, she is cute and serves a purpose but there are far more crucial characters that bring the film to life.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides brings back everything there is to love about the pirates we have spent the last 8 years with and introduces a handful of new characters, a feisty female pirate, and a witty Blackbeard that will give Jack and Barbossa a run for their money when it comes down to a battle of wits.

Highlights:
1) JACK IS BACK!

2) The opening scene is typical of the humor of Pirates and it sets the pace for the film so you know you will be in for one wild ride.

3) Ian McShane as Blackbeard is as fun to watch as his portrayal of the ruthless Al Swearenger in 'Deadwood'.

4) The final scene of the film will leave you laughing until you cry as Angelica tries to put Jack in his place.


Downside:
Don't bother catching the film in 3D. Although the film is fun, the 3D is distracting as the "blurry images" are seen regardless of actually wearing your 3D glasses.

Overall Pirates of the Caribbean: On Strangers Tides is a fun family film that will have you falling in love with pirates all over again. I give the film a 4 out of 5 and beg Disney "PLEASE GIVE US ONE MORE!"

BRIDESMAIDS -- Review

I have always wondered what would happen if all of the "dirty laundry" us women carry around was aired (or screened) in front of the general public. Not just our moments of madness when it comes to life, work, and dare I say relationships... but what if we all just let it hang out? Well, Bridesmaids does just that and it seems like there is no turning back from where this film takes it.

From the opening scene (which I will not give away) you are immediately introduced into one of the craziest WTF moments. Being about 3-5 minutes of pure uncomfortable awkwardness that you will feel with the character that will have you gasping in shock, and I'm sure that on some level EVERYONE will be able to relate to the events that are being played out, be it in a past relationship or even a current fling, and that alone sets the mood for what the rest of the film will bring you. Kristen Wiig is hilarious as Annie, and every woman in the theater will be able to relate with her and what she is going through. I know so far this sounds like it is a woman's film... and it probably is... but if you want to get a little glimpse into the mindset of us ladies (as I'm sure there are those of you out there still saying "I just don't get women") than this might just help you out a tiny bit. Of course there are moments that will turn your stomach as they are so out there that it's amazing they even made the final cut, but overall this is a down to earch hilarious and sometimes over the top "true" tale of what it's like to be a woman.

From the casting choices, to the typical ass-hole we have all (at some point) fallen for, and ulitmately the female rivalries that these ladies go through will outshine the insanity of Alan, Phil and Stu. Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly) is brilliant on the big screen as Megan (the groom's sister), Kristen Wiig (SNL and Paul) makes for the perfect leading lady as Annie, Rose Byrne (Damages) is hilarious in her uptight and snobby-ness that she brings to Helen as that one friend who likes to take control of everything, and Maya Rudolph (Away We Go) is adorable as as the bride Lilian and Annie's best friend. There is of course one additional actor, Chris O'Dowd (Pirate Radio), who steals the show at times just for just for being the rock that all of these ladies desperately need.

I hate that I enjoyed this film as much as I did, but sadly for me there is nothing better than watching characters that truly feel like real people dealing with things that we deal with and can truly relate to, rather than the picture perfect hollywood lives we usually are force feed in films and tv. Bridesmaids truly is the female response to The Hangover and the shock value of some of the scenes is so outragous that there is no controling the laughter or jaw-dropping reactions. It gives a punch to the stomach and a kick to the groin, but there are also moments that will touch us in unexpected ways.

Bridesmaids is one of those 'R' rated comedies that deserves to get noticed. These ladies are exceptional and if you are looking for something that will make you laugh-out-loud than this is something I recommend you check out. I just hope you all can hold your lunch as there are scenes that will challenge all of your sense. I give Bridesmaids a 3.5 out of 5.

Forever book trailer released

Maggie Stiefvater has released a trailer for the third installment to her Wolves of Mercy Falls series. Check out the trailer for FOREVER and then pre-order the book. =)



http://www.fountainbookstore.com/autograph-maggie