Dylan Dog -- REVIEW

Dylan Dog is one of those films that feels like it was made in the 90s, and had at some point probably aired on Sci-Fi (before it became Syfy) and had a large enough following to have a small indie production company offer it a limited theatrical release.  The actors are your typical sci-fi "studs" circa now... and could have just been an added episode to the Being Human series that is now airing on the network.  Granted Sam Huntington is playing a zombie named Marcus in Dylan Dog rather than a semi-pathetic werewolf, but even Brandon Routh (Superman Returns) has one of those "has-been" vibes going on in his portrayal of the lead character Dylan.  And of course lets not forget Taye Diggs who sadly offers nothing more than an impeccable smile throughout the entire film even though he is supposed to be the "big bad"... well technically.

I'm not exactly sure where to start with this film since it first started out like an old throw-back to PI films, where as the trailers lead us to believe that Dylan was supposed to be this "watcher" of sorts which I found quite interesting since it would be like a "b-film" version of the Night Watch series that came out of Russia.  I couldn't help thinking "Oh cool a campie watcher film... SWEET!"... but sadly the only thing that kept my interest was the overly cheesy dialog, Buffy/Star Trek style make-up from the early 90s, and the horrible continuity throughout the film that ultimately turned into a scavenger hunt as to how many mistakes were not caught (**if you go watch keep a close look at Digg's teeth... you'll be able to figure out which "monster" is him and which is his stunt double**).

Granted I will say that the film does have a few moments of glory in the campiness of the film when Dylan and Marcus are sharing the screen, and I will admit it was nice to see some of the "old" vampire make-up making a quick (and hopefully brief) come-back, but other than that this film is sadly nothing to write home about.  And please don't even get me started on the female love interest.  Anita Briem, who plays Elizabeth, might be a pretty face to look at for the 107 minute running time, but she is a worse actress than the ladies of the sexploitation era.  I myself found The Jezebels (aka The Switchblade Sisters from 1975) to be quite hilarious, but man can Anita Briem give these ladies a run for their money on lack of talent.

Over all I would recommend saving Dylan Dog for a rainy night if you have nothing else to do.  I give Dylan Dog a 2 out of 5.

The Change Up -- REVIEW

When it comes to body-switch comedies most people think of family films like Freaky Friday, Big, 17 Again, and even, The Hot Chick.  This weekend we get a new take on this old storyline, but the success or failure of The Change-Up is up for debate.  From the director of Wedding Crashers and the writing team that brought us The Hangover, one would think that a grown-up take on the otherwise family friendly genre, would have potential to be a success. The Change-Up, however, takes the risk of being so over the top and inappropriate that it borders on the side of an epic failure.  From poor pacing and characters, that are just plain irritating, I’m sorry to report that there is very little to give praise.  Having been a fan of the original Hangover and just about any project involving Jason Bateman, I was extremely excited to see this film, especially, having just having come off the amazingness that is Horrible Bosses.  Unfortunately, I feel that with this film, the writing team just shot themselves in the foot and put the final nail in the coffin when their latest round of TV spots were released.

Having added only one line to their new 30-second spots, it is almost a plea for people to avoid this film like the plague.  I mean, let’s be honest here, if you hear “The director of Wedding Crashers and the writers of The Hangover take the body-switch comedy where it's never gone before" would you really go running to the theater to check out the film?  Personally, every time I hear that line I get chills from the scheer memory of how horrible this film is and the pain that I suffered watching it. 

Don’t get me wrong, if you are a fan of bad jokes made in poor taste that are delivered back to back with no time to recover, than I’m sure you will enjoy this film but the overall shock value of the dialogue is caked on so heavily that there is no time to recover and truly appreciate the joke (if there is one).  Truth is, the entire time I sat in the theater I seriously wished I could just reach over and smacked the stupid out of Reynolds character because it was so beyond what I was willing accept.  All the while I was watching, I had only one hope and that was, that something might happen that would actually make me care for one of the characters, but sadly Bateman’s Dave Lockwood was so likeable, I wanted him to mess up somewhere and try to live a little, while Reynolds’ Mitch Planko was such an ass I just wanted someone, if not on screen, than off screen, to beat him up.  What makes all of this worse is that Bateman was on such a career high that he was overdue for a bad film, and poor Reynolds is still riding off one relatively bad box office film, Green Lantern, and I was hoping this might be a step in the right direction.  I can only hope that these good actors in bad films, will be short lived, because each  deserves better roles than those provided in The Change-Up. 

Overall I would recommend a pass on The Change-Up.  If you are looking for a good comedy and have not yet seen Horrible Bosses that would more than make up the gaping hole brought on by David Dobkin’s latest film.    I give The Change-Up a 1.5 out of 5 and highly recommend that the guys out there do not make your ladies watch this film.  If you want to go do a guys night and then compare notes on how your life compares to these guys that's fine, but if you have no interest in doing either avoid the film completely and you will be a much happier person.

Paul -- REVIEW

Hollywood had three alien invasions hit theaters this month, each dramatically different films. Disney's Mars Needs Moms is a family friendly animation, Battle:LA is an action heavy flick with an Independence Day meets Cloverfield feel, but it is Paul that clearly brings the house down with an amazing balance of story, comedy and geek-tastic references.  Although the box office might rank Battle: LA higher than Paul, I would not judge the films in that order.  I think Paul is a film that brings all elements of film-making together into a perfect package for sci-fi lovers.  I mean lets be serious here... sci-fi geek-dom is something known world wide and if you cannot laugh at yourself for being a fan of some of the craziest films to be made and probably even being one of those "obsessed" fans who dress up to go to 20-minute previews, or stand in line for HOURS, or rush the lines at (enter name here) Comic Con than what else do we have to offer this world?  I myself am a proud fan and willing to admit that I camped out to attend a 20-minute preview of Serenity as well as bought passes to both the NY and San Diego Comic Cons last year... not to mention drove cross country just to attend the events in San Diego... so for that fact alone I fit right in with writer Clive Owen (Nick Frost) and his illustrator Graeme Willy (Simon Pegg).  If you have seen the film you know what I mean.

Paul is one of those films that gives you a taste of everything that is great about sci-fi with amazingly funny characters that drive the story home.  The visual effects are well done that it doesn't even miss a beat.  It almost comes off like a live-action version of American Dad only with better human characters.  Graeme and Clive are some of the quirkiest characters I've seen since Fanboys but I love every bit of them.  Then there is Paul.  Oh Paul, you will win over the hearts of the human race and all it will take is the twirl of a finger and some inappropriate nudity.  Although I normally cannot stand Seth Rogen, I found him to be the perfect voice to give life to the extraterrestrial. Although Paul does steal the show (and rightfully so) the combination of Kristen Wiig (SNL, Whip It and Extract), Jason Bateman (Juno and Arrested Development), Jane Lynch (Glee), John Carroll Lynch (Fargo), and Blythe Danner (Meet the Parents) there is nothing but comedic gold from start to finish.

From amazing comedic timing, a great ensemble cast and a wide range of jokes, references and puns off of previous sci-fi films there is very little that goes wrong - well plenty goes wrong but the quality of the film has few flaws.  The two elements that I most enjoyed were the jokes made at "shock value", some moments even made me drop my popcorn they were so outrageous.  On top of that I felt a personal connection as the route I took while driving to the San Diego Comic Con took me to the infamous site used for the final scene in the film.  It was nice to recognize exactly where they were going and WHY.  Granted I am an 80s baby, but I was born in the late 80s so some of the references come from films and other references before my time.  However having a brother that is 12 years older helped me catch a lot of things that others my age missed.  I will confess I felt like quite the geek during my screening being over of the "older" people in the audience and actually picking up and laughing at some of the scenes and was shocked when it took the group of college kids sitting next to me the ENTIRE film to recognize who the voice of The Big Guy was.

Paul is a great flick to kick back and have a good time.  I'm actually considering going again to see if there are any additional references I missed the first time through.  I give Paul a 4 out of 5.  If you are a fan of sci-fi and have either attended a comic con or just love to laugh than this is your film.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus -- REVIEW

If given the opportunity to walk into your own wildest dreams, would you take it? Would you walk through a mirror, into the unknown, unaware of the actions or consequences of what that journey might be, and just hoping to come out the other side as close to the same as you went in? What if there was an incredibly attractive person sweet talking you into the idea? Terry Gilliam's film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is an interesting twist to the story of deals made with the devil. It is a little hard to watch at times, and at others the visual content over powers the story itself leaving you feeling almost dizzy. The film feels like a bit of a mash-up of the visual styles of Tim Burton and Guillermo del Toro, with a clear sense of madness present within each of his characters.

Heath Ledger plays Tony, who it seems all on his own embodies a collective of characters previously played by Johnny Depp. It was odd to watch him speaking like Jack Sparrow, and yet having Willy Wonka and even the Mad Hatter coming through. It was almost as though he modeled his character primarily off the works of the other actor, or rather that director Terry Gilliam had modeled this particular character after friend and actor Johnny Depp. I feel puzzled as to where the choice came from or if it was just something that might become apparent to only some, and yet I also question if it may have been caused by the extreme measures that had to be taken to complete the film after the unfortunate passing of Heath Ledger during production.

Ever since news was released regarding how Mr. Gilliam planned to complete the film I was a little hesitant as to how he would be able to pull off having one character played by 4 different actors. In a weird way Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell all have similarities that could make it a little easier for them to play the same character, but I questioned whether or not it would be effective or if it would hurt the film. If you have read any news on Mr. Gilliam's choice to use these particular actors you will know that it was done because these men were friends of the late actor, and the choice to keep it "in the family" was made out of respect for Ledger with the film being dedicated to him upon its release. It is touching to know that so many people offered to step up to the plate and help the production when the tragic news haulted the film, and even more so to know that Ledger had touched so many people's hearts and particularly that a director would turn down so many people and only choose someone that knew and could honor the memory of such an amazingly talented actor in the way that he should be remembered. Depp, Law and Farrell channeled Ledger in every sense, with hair and make-up added into the mix to help with the visual aspect. I just wonder what it meant to these actors to have such a weight placed on their shoulders to pull off this particular type of role. It was not just the role of a character, but also the role of upholding the memory of a fallen actor in his final role.

The world of the imaginarium, or rather what we see from inside Doctor Parnassus' head, is truly a fantasy world fit for any child's wildest imagination. This is the world in which we find Depp, Law and Farrell. Each time Tony walks through the mirror and enters the imaginarium, we are given a different glimpse of who he is and his face is never the same. The first Imaginarium Tony is played by Johnny Depp and in this world it is an upper east side class of woman that he entertains with his charm and good looks. The second imaginarium Tony is played by Jude Law, and in this we see the scheming, sly character in which we begin to see the true colors of who Tony really is. The third imaginarium Tony is played by Colin Farrell and it is at this point when Doctor Parnassus' daughter has fallen for the sweet talker and it is only through the help of another member of the traveling circus, Anton, do we finally see just who Tony is.

The sometimes overwhelming visuals highlight the traveling show and the magic of the imagination. I found that I sometimes needed to dig through the images to find the cast, even though I knew that on their own they would stand strong. The traveling show's crew was graciously made of up such talent as Christopher Plummer as Doctor Parnassus, supermodel Lily Cole as his young daughter Valentina, Andrew Garfield as Anton, and Verne Troyer as Percy. They are later joined by the collective cast of Tony's, and even Tom Waits who plays Mr. Nick whom Doctor Parnassus places bets with the devil for life, love and even his daughter's freedom. It is the ever betting man and his wagers with the devil that lead the story through Terry Gilliam's wild imaginarium.

As a whole the film is worth watching just to see what wild things Terry Gilliam can come up with. The actor's performances are great when you can see them, but the ever changing visuals sometimes become too much and you have to look away if only for a second. I would give this film a 3 out of 5 for story, but a 4 out of 5 for originality and imagery. As dedicated to Heath Ledger, the actors help up their part of the bargain and gave you a deep character that makes you think about life. Thank you Heath for such a great performance. You are surely missed as a shinning star and great talent.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon -- REVIEW

First off I should preface this by confessing that I am a big transformers fan: 1) I blame my brother for introducing me to the cartoon series at a young age and 2) I blame Michael Bay for making it look so badass to be a transforming robot.  I mean, let’s be honest here, Bay has created three films for a franchise that can now continue to grow by showing younger generations that “old” cartoons make for some pretty cool stories (and toys).


Granted, I should give myself a disclaimer, adding that Bay is not a great story teller, by any stretch of the imagination, and his films aren’t meant to be Oscar winning or anything close to that, but it is obvious that he knows how to entertain an audience.  But let’s digress, as I need to just throw this out there to who hate Michael Bay, perhaps you need to look beyond the story, sure there the story is faulty, but you do have to admit the skill Bay shows creating explosions and CGI transforming robots is the coolest thing and for the audience he is creating for, it is beyond cool.

So to all you Bay haters – Get over it! Stop beating yourself up trying to make Bay anything more than he is: a genius for bigger, badder things that go boom, with an eye for detail with CGI that make fans nerd-gasm in their pants.  Mhmm I said it, and all you out there reading this know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to the nuts and bolts of why we are here.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a visually stunning summer blockbuster.  Although, it clearly suffers a bit of a rocky start, leading with some awkward transitions in storytelling and poorly casted extras wearing highly recognizable full face prosthetics that make the actors look like the Barbie factory had a mishap in their Ken department, but by the film’s mid-point, you have all but forgotten the pathetic, torture of the opening scenes, and have moved on to enjoying Bay’s in-your-face entertainment.  But before too long you are reminded of the storyline when wait a minute… is that Buzz Aldrin making a cameo appearance (a la Stan Lee style)?  Hehe oh yes, it is. Michael Bay all but bitch-slaps the audience with the insanity of humans casted in various roles throughout Dark of the Moon.

So we have covered the astronaut appearance, and we know that Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwichy, Josh Duhamel as Lennox, the whacky John Turturro as “Former” Agent Simmons, Tyrese Gibson as Epps, and thankfully Megan Fox has been kicked to the curb and replaced by British Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who is just a hot bod in heels.  Yet, it is the new faces that make cast dynamics so interesting; John Malkovich plays Sam’s insane boss Bruce Brazos and Frances McDormand plays the US Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing, each of their appearances almost brings about a Burn After Reading hilarity to an already outrageous film.  Without giving away too much I just want to add this, it is nice to see McDreamy get his ass handed to him by a kid.  But let’s not forget, the Transformers series is not about the humans… it is about the robots!

It was great to see the traditional characters back in action.  Bumblebee is adorable as ever (I’ve missed the teary eyed Autobot since Revenge of the Fallen), Ironhide is still a badass, and of course Optimus Prime who has a few upgrades of his own like a trailer full of new toys that he can combine to create even bigger explosions and Decepticon destruction. But it is the quirky Autobots like Wheelie and the addition of Brains and an Albert Einstein look alike Bot named Wheeljack that make it clear that Dark of the Moon is all about having fun.  Even the fact that the addition of Leonard Nimoy, who voices Galvatron, brings a smile to ones face and may even bring out some of the Trekkies.

My only real complaint with the Dark of the Moon is that after seeing it in IMAX 3D, I wish that Bay had stepped back and provided a few more slow-motion transformation sequences like those in Revenge of the Fallen was so full of.  There is so much taking place in Dark of the Moon, and with characters like Driller (Shockwave’s pet), the screen was so busy I had a hard to focus on all the action.  I, personally would have loved to have seen more CGI that the Transformers franchise has become so well known for, and yet maybe even another “big robot balls” joke or two.  But all in all the film is highly entertaining, well worth the money and 155 minutes spent in the theater.

Dearest Michael Bay I ask, will you ever again give us a film shy of the 120 minute marker? Although I will happily confess that I am an avid admirer of your “make it bigger” philosophy with regards to explosions, fight sequences and CGI effects, I feel you will leave me no choice but to do the potty dance as I race from the theater after your films.  Word to the wise: if you plan to see Transformers be sure to use the restroom before entering the theater and opt out of the Michael Bay size sodas that the concession stands are now selling.  This is just a warning for adults, come in pairs, one to watch the kids in the theater and one to make the multiply potty runs.

Cowboys & Aliens -- REVIEW

Picture this… James Bonds wakes up in the Wild West unable to recall how he got there and then ends up in a town were Indiana Jones and his son have been terrorizing its citizens into doing anything they want…  Wait, that’s not right.  Granted Cowboys & Aliens does star Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford, as well as share executive producer Steven Spielberg (Indy franchise), there is little else these heavy hitters bring to this futuristic/sci-fi western.  If only the film lived up to the overall awesomeness that the trailers teased.

Let’s look at the possibilities from a realistic point of view.  1) Daniel Craig is a total bad ass and could totally whip any aliens ass.  2) Indiana Jones was amazing when we were able to understand him (if you see Cowboys & Aliens you will understand the issue). 3) Cowboys verses Aliens is an amazing concept that has not really been done before. 4) Spielberg rarely has a bad film (this does not include the 4^th Indy, which I’ll never speak of again).  5) The aliens’ aircrafts looked amazing and gave hope to some crazy looking villains.  Now that that’s out of the way let’s get back to the review….

Cowboys & Aliens takes the concept of a western to heart as it moves as a leisurely pace that could only be compared to a John Wayne film that takes almost 3 hours to get through.  Although there is more than enough time to deliver a story, there are so many missing pieces that you’re lucky if you can walk out of the theater with the slightest clue as to what just happened.  Not only is the story missing a few crucial parts and lacking major character development, but by the end you’ll just wish that Doc Brown would suddenly fly in and urge Marty to travel back to the future just as the end credits roll.  As cheesy as that sounds, it is probably the only thing that could have possibly redeemed the film from its current state.

Thankfully director Jon Favreau found a balance between story and action that kept the audience in their seats, it’s just too bad the combination was not better delivered.  With top-notch actors, a hot actress with a tight toosh (who oddly enough we find out is not quite what we thought she was), and half-assed aliens who pack no punch (who strangely resembled the alien in Spielberg’s Super 8) it’s hard to believe more time had not been spent on fully developing this project.  Having come from a graphic novel it should have been a piece of cake since the story was practically already fully laid out and storyboarded for them, but sadly the adaptation strays far enough away from the original concept that if you miss a few crucial lines explaining who/what the aliens are you might as well forget the story completely.

The only thing that makes up for the complete confusion of the story and whether or not this film was official left with an open ending to set up for a sequel, is the recent realization that a 90s TeenNICK show actually predicted the coming of Cowboys & Aliens.   If you ever watched 'Clarissa Explains It All' you would have had your first introduction to something almost 20 years in the making.  Now I think the only question left is… Would Cowboys & Aliens have made a better 90s film than the film we have today? 

That being said Cowboys & Aliens is a decent film that will at least kill 2 hours if you have nothing better to do.

**this review was originally written for PacManandTheHotOne.com.  check out the site for more reviews and follow the link to the original posting (http://pacmanandthehotone.blogspot.com/2011/...owboys-aliens-2011.html)

HORRIBLE BOSSES -- Review

We have all, or know someone who has had a horrible boss at one point or another. That one person who makes us want to down a bottle of tequila (or whatever alcohol you prefer) by the end of the night, or just simply makes getting up and going into work the one thing that we don't wish we never had to do. But what would happen if we were some how able to get our revenge. Would you act alone or would you enlist the help of a friend to carry out whatever vicious method of revenge you choose? And how are would you go to get rid of that one person that makes your day the most unbearable event in your life? Horrible Bosses plays with this idea and delivers a level of insanity that will have the entire audience laughing from start to finish.

Horrible Bosses is a film that will make even your worst day look like a walk in the park. The amazing talents of Jason Bateman (Arrested Development and Juno), Jason Sudeikis (SNL and Hall Pass) and Charlie Day (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) only adds to the overly outrageous events that will play out before your eyes. Their comedic timing is the perfect combination of wit, sarcasm and hilarity that is only aided with the additions of Kevin Spacey who plays Kevin's (Bateman) boss, Colin Farrell who plays Kurt's (Sudeikis) boss and Jennifer Aniston who plays Dale's (Day) boss.

Personally I found Horrible Bosses to be a non-stop laugh that was an even rival to the original Hangover, and even a close competitor to the amazingness that is Bridesmaids. For the simple fact that studios are now venturing into open waters with well written comedies that can easily rival any summer blockbuster action flick is a nice change of pace in comparison to what we are used to seeing in past years. I can only hope that they let the goods things go and not try to make unnecessary sequels just to make a few extra bucks (*cough* Hangover II *cough*). Horrible Bosses is one of those films that people of all ages and backgrounds will be able to go and enjoy because everyone can release as we have all had a horrible boss at one point or another in our lives.

Biggest Highlights:
1: Don't expect anything because you don't know what's going to happen AND IT'S AWESOME!
2: Although we might be sick of Aniston these days... seeing her in this role is one that you'll be able to enjoy over and over again.
3: Never underestimate a horrible boss.

So live vicariously through Dale, Kurt and Kevin as they act out all of our dreams of revenge towards the people who have (and possible still are) made your live a hell during the hours of 9a-5p.

I give Horrible Bosses a 4.5 out of 5.