Living In Oblivion

To be involved in the world of movies, an unknowing person may believe it to be a dream come true. From the first time you set foot on set you feel it is like something straight out of a fairy tale. The scale of everything is larger than life. Even as the lowest person on a set (an extra), you feel as if you are royalty and there is no comparison to real life. From the pampered treatment you receive from the make-up and hair artists between takes, to the sometimes extravagant sets and wardrobes, and the unbelievable meals provided, but can occasionally be strictly an "eat at your own risk" adventure. Each of these experiences in and of itself can be like a dream come true, but, it is the audition process that is a treacherous path that not everyone journeys safely through.

I have been auditioning for dancing and acting parts since the age of 5, however, physical challenges have prevented me from obtaining these opportunities. Being shy of 5' tall with an athletic build and brown hair, the dance world has turned me away from professional productions. This rejection has not prevented me from having auditioned for season 3 of So You Think You Can Dance? (turned away in the first cut) and a dancer for the Celtics (turned away during the 3rd cut). I have also auditioned for performing positions with 6 Flags, Busch Gardens, Disneyworld, as well as minor roles in various plays and films, but have never received a call back. With each rejection I have grown as a performer and have became a stronger person. I accept the challenge to enter a world that is structured around appearance, with females that are 5'6" and taller, skinny, and blonde. As a dancer, these are 3 things I lack. But I never given up! Today I continue to struggle with auditions, but I look forward to and welcome the next opportunity that will come my way and believe that one day my drive will overshadow my physical shortcomings of that “dream girl” look.

This past weekend Boston Casting held an open call for roles in an upcoming Mel Gibson and Robert DeNiro film scheduled to begin shooting in mid-August in the Boston area. I hope to receive a call back, but if I do not there is always tomorrow to try again. I live in oblivion, never knowing what to expect in life or on set. But when you do land a spot on set, that is when the madness truly begins.

In 1995 an independent film (Living in Oblivion)was released staring Steve Buschemi. This film gives viewers a comedic glimpse of what it is really like to be a filmmaker. It shows the chaotic life of an independent filmmaker and some of the circumstances that can cause a production to fall apart. This film has made a huge impact in my life and is one of the reasons why I wanted to become a part of the film industry. Some of my friend may describe me as crazy, but truth be told, you have to be a little nuts to want to work in this world. The occasional pre-Madonnas that you have to handle, the potential for extreme amounts of stress, sleepless nights, the chaos of Mother Nature, and human error are just a few things that one may have to deal with on a daily basis. Many of us have learned ways to coup with the stress, but others are driven mad by it. Anything can cause a production to halt mid-way through, and then there are things that can cause a production to fall apart before it even begins.

While in college, I produced five student projects and all of them had their moments of utter destruction. There were occasions where we were locked out of locations, lost a lead actor the day before production was scheduled to begin due to a call into active duty, lost crew mid-way through productions due to personal tragedies, and have had an entire day’s worth of footage lost due to faulty equipment or improper development of film. But, these production problems are nothing in comparison to the craziness that takes place while working on set. When producing, you can work around the situation and you have some control, or at least you feel you have some control. However, when on set, you have no control over the situation, and you can become the problem.

I have witnessed, as well as accidentally caused a few problems that can occur when on set. In the last year I have attended about a dozen auditions and was cast as a background performer in two. One, a Kate Hudson film due out in September, is such a film that experienced several delays during production. During one such shoot, they used a church for a holding area, and due to the content of the scene the church decided to kick the production out and they had to stop production until they could quickly find a new location for holding extras and equipment. Another set back they experienced was during the prom scene.

I was cast as an extra along with 150 other people in their early 20s for the prom scene. We worked three 16-hour days in a Boston high school gymnasium with no AC, cameras and lights running at all times, and only 2 fans turned up between takes so that the noise would not interfere with audio recording. During the second day, we were performing a dance scene for about 2 hours when heat and dehydration hit hard. Production was put on hold for several hours as cast and crew dealt with the toll it was taking on all of us. Lucky nothing serious had happened and we were quickly brought back on set to resume shooting once everyone had been rehydrated and given a meal. Productions experience various types of set backs in all different shapes and sizes, and you’ll never know when or what may happen.

I live in a constant state of oblivion in life and in work. I never know what is going to happen from minute to minute, but I love every second of it. Life is too short to not live out your dreams, no matter how wild or crazy they may be. No matter how many people get in your way by turning you down, or saying that you cannot do it, do not let that stop you. Work that much harder for the next opportunity that comes your way. Welcome chaos and the unpredictable nature of people and of life itself. Join me as I live in oblivion and enjoy life.