Skyline -- Review

There is something about films that just suck the life right out of you.  No I do not mean that because I went to an 11pm screening, I mean it literally sucked the life out of me.  The monster child of Colin and Greg Strause takes all that was great about Independence Day, Cloverfield, and District 9 and gives you a crack baby called Skyline.  I'm sure they will make their money many times over since this film was shot on the "measly" budget of $1m, but that does not mean that it should.

I mean, remember those films you and your friends made back in high school, or even those college projects your significant other made you watch before they submitted it for a grade because they wanted "an honest opinion" on it?  Well now imagine one of "those" projects with a $1m budget... Doesn't make it much better, does it?  Just because you have that kinda dough to play with does not give you the right to make us movie goers suffer through a 92 minute film just because you got bored while in between projects.  Keep to what your good at and leave the story telling to the "professionals". 

Skyline not only has a half-ass story being told by someone who can't tell which end is up, but there is ultimately NO POINT!  It's like a kid who loves Legos was just let loose in Lego World and builds some of the most intricate pieces of abstract sculptures that are amazing to look at, but when placed in a row (which he calls a "series") does nothing but jumble the pictures into an "artful mess".  That is Skyline.  The visual effects are out of this world, but the "art school" cinematography and dramatized slow-motion sequences (along with laughable dialog) take away from what really could have been something.  There were glimpses of moments where the story could have taken a turn, but fell right down the sewer. 

From brain eating aliens, to action that didn't really make sense, to the cheapest actors imaginable as your main characters (most likely friends of Colin and Greg who thought the idea might have been cool for all of 3 seconds), all the way to an ending that only Disney could have dreamed up.  It was one disappointment after another, until the suspense built up so much I jumped at NOTHING which not only sent the poor guy suffering next to men into a fit of giggles but I had to apologize for how lame I felt for that slip of thinking that they finally may have done something right. 

Unfortunately Skyline is a less than desirable flick for this weekend.  I would suggest saving it for when you're home with your gamin' buddies, just finished some serious fragging, and looking for something to watch while killing your "sudden munchie craving".  Maybe then something will be interpreted out of the film.

I give Skyline a 2 out of 5 for effort.  But guys... About that sequel you teased to at the end...How about let's NOT and say we did.  Just a thought.